Smoking weed has always been a coping mechanism for myself. Living in NYC where essentially the hustle is non-stop I would work upwards of three jobs on top of going to full-time school just to get by. I thought after graduation it would all be worth it. Surprisingly, my “entry-level” salary of $35,000 covered a fraction of my expenses and before I realized I was racking up credit card debt and miserable. I was depending solely on weed just to feel numb.
In 2017, I realized I couldn’t continue spending the majority of my life at a company that didn’t value me as much as I valued myself. I made moves, stacked paper, and in 2018 I bet on myself for the first time in my life.
I transitioned marijuana out of my everyday life and sought out sober activities that gave me that same high. It took me a while to recognize the feeling of happiness. It took me a while to properly recognize all of my emotions as I was used to feeling consistently numb. For so long my anxiety and fear drove my life, that inner voice that held me back that constantly doubted my worth, “How will you pay your bills?”, “What will you do without that friend?”, “Don’t hold fuckboys accountable for their actions! Be the ‘cool’ girl” and many more because anxiety knows no limits.
I started this blog because so many individuals allow fear and anxiety to lead their life and then turn to drugs and alcohol to cope. So many people confuse numbness with happiness and I want to show the difference. Don’t get me wrong, a bitch still loves a freshly rolled joint and some edibles – there’s a marijuana section here too! But a girl can get high without drugs, and I wanted to highlight that.
xoxo High Black Girl